For all of Apple’s New iOS6 Maps Haters

Cupertino, CA — After two weeks of intensive testing with Apple’s new iOS 6 maps, Scoopertino’s Software Evaluation Unit sums up its findings in three words:

“What’s the problem?”

In fact, our report reveals six hidden features in Apple maps that may change the way you navigate:

1. Landmark Shuffle Mode. Randomly relocates famous landmarks to add color to your journey, and to inspire new vacation ideas. Fixed landmarks are so Google.

2. History Mode. Replaces current buildings with ones previously at that address. (Note to those with medical emergencies: your nearest ER may appear as a bowling alley or furniture store.)

3. Auto-Fill Itineraries. For convenience, Maps automatically adds an Apple Store to your itinerary. For greater convenience, it also adds the nearest cash machine en route.

4. “Lost” Mode. For fans of ABC’s classic TV series, John Locke fills in for Siri. Your journey will be long and perplexing, but you’ll ultimately arrive — possibly in the same year you set out.

5. I-Builder. If Apple Maps can’t find an interstate highway, it will create one. Apple-designed interstates are far more attractive than real ones, with imaginary exits clearly marked.

6. Map Genius. Turn-by-turn directions, personally delivered by a Genius in your passenger seat. Just one click and the next available Genius is dispatched to your current location. Be patient though — he’ll be using Apple Maps to find you.

 

SEE!! IT’S NOT A LOSS ITS ACTUALLY A GOOD THING ¬¬